*FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

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*FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by Marz on Sat Nov 21, 2009 4:21 am

First topic message reminder :

Here is it...
para mas masaya ang bawat araw ng pagtatagpo natin dito sa forum,
para narin dun sa mga maraming problema at mga nakikibasa lang,^_^
try naman natin mag share ng ibat-ibang nakakatawang bagay.

Just share all jokes that you know' funny quotes, funny poems, funny sayings, funny story etc.etc.. mapa'luma, kahit kurne pwede....just use appropriate language(English,Tagalog)

ako na unang hihirit(dedicated pra sa mga problemadong tao)...^_^

to mga napulot ko san'san

minsan sa buhay ikay nadadapa..
gumugulong..
napuputikan..
naapakan ng iba..
pero natututto ka din bumangon at humarap sa lahat
at magsabi ng ganito:
lassheeng lang ako mga frieeeends..! sssensya nahh buarrk..


I chose you as my friend
because you are thoughtful,
sweet, loving, caring, understanding,
charming, demanding, daring, kambing,
balimbing, bonjing, matsing, duling at may kuliling! hehehe.


If only I had the power to turn back time...
if only i could read your mind...
Wala lang! Astig di ba?
Tapos, marunong pa raw akong lumipad! Yeah!


Ang mga boys, hindi dapat pinaglalaruan,
hindi rin niloloko.
Kasi, ang mga yan, sobrang magmahal,
sobrang masaktan. Iiyak-iyak lang sa sulok,
pero kapag yan, gumanti! Loko! Nambubuntis yan!


ito sa phone galing:
joy is GOD's gift....Lets joy reign in your mind

joy in your heart & joy in your action

after all...napakamura pa ng JOY...

Isang patak lng ang lungkot na sangkatutak.


When I was lost you were there,
When I was down you were there.
When I was heartbroken you were there.
When I got really sick you were there.
ABA, hindi kaya ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko?
=)) =)) yan lng muna^^

Suggestions, Comments highly appreciated..basta dont break the rules..
NO SPAM........

Share nyo na rin sa inyo.. post it here....^_^


Last edited by Marz on Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:27 am; edited 3 times in total
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by JOANNA on Sat Jan 02, 2010 8:50 pm

^ korni =)) natawa tuloy ako ng lalo
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by `~ BLASPHEMY™ on Sat Jan 02, 2010 9:07 pm

^cute nomon ehh .. ahahha ..!
cornii mo marzz lolx
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by Marz on Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:54 am

Take your time

A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS
NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.

THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED.

IT WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD".

WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND READ
THE LETTER WITH TREMBLING HANDS:

Spoiler:

DEAR DAD,

IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS.
I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED
TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.

I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS
SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER
TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.

BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT
AND BARBARA SAID THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY.

EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER AS SHE
IS MUCH OLDER THAN I, SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER
IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR THE
WHOLE WINTER.

SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN
WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.

BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE
AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING
IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE WANT.

IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE
FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE
DESERVES IT!!

DON'T WORRY DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE
CARE OF MYSELF.

SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN
GET TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.

YOUR SON, JOHN

P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOR'S
HOUSE. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE
ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD
THAT'S IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER. lmao I LOVE YOU!

CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME. =))
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by JOANNA on Wed Jan 06, 2010 10:29 pm

Letter from an OFW


Dear Anak,
Naipadala na namin ‘yung P50,000 na pamabayad sa tuition mo sa second sem. Ipinagbili na ‘yung kalabaw natin. Ang mahal pala ng Counter Strike na kurso! Wala na rin tayong baboy, naipagbili na rin namin para sa sinasabi mong project, ‘ yung Nokia N75. Anak ang mahal naman ng project mo!
Kasama na sa ipinadala namin ‘yung baon mo para sa field trip sa Mall of Asia. Malayo ba ‘yun? Bakit ang mahal din? Isinanla na namin ‘yung palayan para mabili na ‘yung instrumento mong Video iPod. Napailaw n’yo na ba ‘yung pinagpupuyatan ninyong San Mig Lights? Sana mag-graduate ka na at nang makaraos tayo sa hirap at mabayaran ang mga utang at mabawi ang bukirin natin.
Love,
Tay & Nay



Letter to an OFW


Dad,
Thanks sa padala mo. Hapi si Nene kasi Tobleron baon n’ya sa skul. ‘Yung Nike suot na ni Junior. Next time, huwag ka na magpadala ng NIVEA MILK. ‘Di nila type kasi mapait daw.. ako tuloy ang umubos.
Love, Junior



IDD call from the US


Husband: Hon, musta na ang tindahan?
Wife: department store na!
Husband: ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!
Husband: ang trickad?
Wife: taxi na!
Husband: ang dalawa kong anak?
Wife: lima na!



Suporta


Divorced father: Anak pag-uwi mo, ibigay mo sa Nanay mo itong tseke at sabihin mo 18 years old ka na, huling theke na makukuha niya for child support, tapos tingnan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: Mommy, sabi ni Daddy ibigay ko daw sa ‘yo itong tseke, last support na niya ito sa akin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tingnan ko raw ang expression ng face mo.
Mommy: Sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya, pakisabi salamat sa suporta kahit ‘di mo siya Tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo ang expression ng face niya!



Si Inday at Ang Pulubi


Amo: Inday, paalisin mo nga ‘yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(Nilabas ni Inday.)
Inday: Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
Pulubi: Oh! I’m so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(Nakakuha ng katapat si Inday!)
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by CHii ExDee on Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:42 pm

niahaha.. =))
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by cUtE_em0 on Sun Jan 10, 2010 3:06 am

NICE JOKE lmao
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by `Jin Eishiro on Tue Feb 09, 2010 6:22 am

MGA PULITIKO:

villar – papaliguin niya ang mga bata sa dagat ng basura “tunay ka bang kaisa sa amin”

villanueva – di pwede sa edsa “overloading bus nya”

binay – pwede tayong umasenso sa pamumulot ng barya

legarda – nagtanim ng papaya, ng namunga ay palay

gordon – laging gising “di kaya nagdadrugs?”

roxas – sira ang budget “palagi sa palengke”

gibo – mauubos ang tao sa pilipinas ”lipad na, tara na”

noynoy – bagong rapper

bayani – di kaya gawing pink ang buong pilipinas!




Nagdadasal si FPJ ng taimtim pagkatapos ng pagkatalo sa halalan

FPJ: (pabulong) panginoon, bakit po nyo ako hinayaan na matalo sa halalan?

Lord: ( Di umimik)

FPJ: Naririnig nyo po ba ako? bakit hinayaan nyo pong dayain ng kalaban ko?

Lord: (Tahimik)

FPJ: Diyos ko, bakit ganyan po kayo? di nyo po dinidinig mga dasal ko!

Lord: Anak, kung magbubulong bulong ka lang jan hindi talaga kita maririnig, Halika dito

hahaha


Guy1:pare,alam ko na kung anong gagawin para makatakas dito sa kulungan.
Guy2:paano?
Guy1:sisirain natin ung lock ng gate!
Guy2:O sige!
Guy1:Eh paano,hindi nakalock ung gate?
Guy2:E ganun lng nmn pala eh,edi i-lock
natin ung gate para may sirain tayo!



breakfast after honeymoon

lola: alam mo hon, kahit 50 years na tayong kasal, nag-iinit pa rin ang dibdib ko sa iyo

lolo: anak ng pating….paanong hindi mag-iinit dibdib mo…eh nakasawsaw yang dede mo sa kape……
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by L'Jyen [♥] on Wed Feb 10, 2010 12:27 pm

nakaupo ang mga estudyante s sahig sila ay naglalaro ng kung ano-ano. teacher:class umupu na kayo sa upuan niyo. mga estudyante:opo mom! teacher:class tumayo sa inyo ang bobo. may isang estudyanteng tumayo. teacher:ohh bakit ka tumayo?, inaamin mong bobo ka? estudyante:hindi po mom. teacher:ehh bakit ka tumayo? estudyante:ehh kasi po dinadamayan ko po kayo ehh kasi kayo lang po ang nakatayo sa klase ehh. THE END……. :0 :0

lol!
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by Nyxz on Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:45 pm

Bulag at duling magsusuntukan!!
Bulag: love you ka duling!! lumabas ka dyan.. wag kang magtago sa dilim!!
Duling: in your dreams!!! bakit ako lalabas eh dalawa kayo!!!


Isang gabi habang nanonood ako,tumabi sakin ang lola ko..
ang haba ng buhok itim na itim ngdamit parang malungkot at mayhawak na kutsilyo
kinabahan ako..
nagsalita siya..
sabi niya..
"apo, bagay ba sa akin ang EMO?"


Maid: mam si junjun nakalulon ng ipis!
Mam: ha nsaan si junjunMaid: tulog po mam. pinainum ko agad ng Baygon!!patay na siguro yung ipis..


PILITA CORRALES - Asia 's Queen of Song.
LANI MISALUCHA - Asia 's Nightingale.
REGINE VELASQUEZ - Asia 's Song Bird.
GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO - "Mole of Asia"

Nag uusap ang Lola at Ang Apo tungkol sa Pamana:

Sabi ng Lola: Apo, alam mo na matanda na ako, malapit na akong mamatay, Ipapamana ko sa iyo ang aking Sakahan, Prutasan, Bahay at ang mga alaga kong love you.

Sabi ng Apo: Laking pasasalamat ko po Lola, Saan po Yun?

Sabi ng Lola: Sa Facebook Apo, heto Email ko hot_lola16@yahoo.com at ang Password ay Ganda122. Click mo sa bookmark ang Farmville.


nako lmao


Last edited by Nyxz on Sat Feb 27, 2010 6:50 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : punctuation marks ^^)
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by -- かわいい PRiNCEü on Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:51 pm



jowk va etu ?
jowk nga ata . lmao
tawa nlng kau =))
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by HAZEL on Wed Mar 10, 2010 8:10 pm

^ haha cute ng baby . lmao
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by Meliatrix :) on Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:06 pm

Boy: Miss. Membro kba ng Wondergirls?
Girl: Ha? Baket?
Boy: Bcos I want nobody nobody but you.
Girl: haha. talaga? psensya na 2NE1 ako eh.
Boy: Bakit nman?
Girl: 'Cause I DON'T CARE EH EH EH EH !

bastedd! lmao
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

Post by Chikaboo on Sun May 02, 2010 12:35 pm

Nanay: Honey Pag namatay ako iiyak ka?
Tatay: Syempre honey, kasi asawa kita
Nanay: Honey mahal mo ba ako?
Tatay: Syempre honey, kasi asawa kita
Nanay: Honey Wala kabang kabet?
Tatay: Syempre honey asawa kita.
Nanay: Honey baka niloloko mo lang ako
Tatay: Syempre honey asawa rin kita



CORNI :]] sa radyo kolang narinig!
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Re: *FUNY JOKES COLLECTIONS*

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